Wednesday was my birthday, and I want to share with you some things that would have been useful to me when I was 20 and that I hope I will remember when I am 40.
The best birthday gift that someone dedicated to creativity can give themselves is to practice.
Yesterday, September 25, I turned 32. I don’t know if there will ever be a time when I’m afraid to say my age. Why would I deny how many times I’ve circled around the sun? It’s my age, and that’s it. I have wrinkles on my forehead, and I’m getting gray hair. And in these three decades, with a couple more years, I have some aces up my sleeve. Today, I want to share them with you; maybe they’ll be helpful to you.
I know these lesson posts can be the most cliché thing in the world, so I’ll try to make it fun by dividing these “learnings” (or do you think I’ve only grasped profound spiritual truths in 32 years?) into groups that have some kinship. Come on, then:
About the Internet.
1.- Turn on Wikiwand. Wikipedia is the most useful thing that has happened to humanity, but sorry, the interface is horrible. Wikiwand even gives summaries generated by artificial intelligence.
2.- Toby is my favorite extension for my browser: I can only live with up to 10 tabs open, and Toby makes my life easier; it organizes the tabs visually, and I don’t need to search through so many folders.
3.- Don’t just give likes here and there; if you like some content, take 30 seconds to leave a comment; whoever writes or makes videos can take it into account; it feels nice to build a community. That is to say, human beings are more than “double-taps” or “likes”, we are beings that communicate. You can start with this little letter and…
4.- Try to look for opportunities to make digital a reality. Thanks to the network, I have friends and experiences I would not have had if I had not started on the Internet. Feel free to send a direct message or look for reading clubs, for example.
About work.
1.- You can’t separate life from work. I spend eight hours a day there; it’s part of me, so I try to be nice to my colleagues. They become people who see me every day, and I appreciate making them smile. And vice versa. These relationships (networking) have made me a better professional.
2.- Never give up on being in a job that you love, whether in a company or as a freelancer. If you work in your passion, you are someone with an enormous privilege: take advantage of it.
3.- Evaluate your work priorities. You may be in a job that you only “like,” but that allows you to do other things that are really your vocation.
4.- If you are miserable where you are, run away. I insist you spend eight hours of your life there. Is it really worth it? If you leave, it will be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
On friendship.
1.- Listen to your true friends. If you have a varied group, even better. They are good at giving opinions when you ask them (let’s see if I pay attention to those who ask me to do a podcast or stand-up).
2.- Because I’m terrible at keeping in touch with everyone, I adapt to communication that works. With certain friends, I send half-hour podcasts; with other friends, I only send silly reels; with others, I prefer coffees.
3.- Friendships evolve, change, and fade. Don’t take it personally when a friendship suddenly ends. And don’t be afraid to reconnect, either.
4.- If someone you love asks you for help, give it to them. Don’t miss the opportunity to be with another person more.
On (not so silly) nonsense about existence.
1.- Don’t take a picture of everything (I don’t understand people who take a video of an entire concert that they’ll never see again). But take a selfie when you feel like a gorgeous person, take a photo of an overwhelming landscape, and group photos with whoever you want. It’s nice to have these memories.
2.- Fall in love with your exercise. I know exercising can be hateful, but maybe it’s because you haven’t found the physical activity that best suits you. I gave up trying to reinvent the wheel a long time ago. I love swimming, and that’s what I do.
3.- Read. Pick up a book or get audiobooks (I heard that Spotify is releasing some). It’s an incredible way to enter other worlds. Just don’t let it be a torture. You don’t have to like Joyce, Dostoyevski, García Márquez, Isabel Allende, or Stephen King: find your type of literature.
4.- There are things you can put off. As someone who discovered a flaw in their system a few years ago, I recommend that it not be among those things for your annual health checkup.
About family.
1.- Life is short, no one is eternal. The day my mother passed away, the last thing we said to each other was, “I love you so much,” so I confirmed that family cannot be taken for granted.
2.- If you have siblings, they will always be your best confidants. Don’t distance yourself and Forget about fights. In my case, I have two additional siblings (who are not precisely my siblings) who work for this case. If you are an only child, you have someone who can be your brother or sister. Appreciate them.
3.- Say “I love you” more. For a long time in my life, I haven’t done it because I am not that good at expressing my feelings orally. But a little gift, a letter or spending time with your family is also appropriate. That is also love.
4.- Maturing is accepting that your parents took it out on you. So, forgiving them and giving them space in your existence is not difficult.
About love.
1.- The old adage “love comes when you least expect it” is true. Don’t force anything. Search because if you don’t find the love of your life, at least you will have good anecdotes.
2.- Some things seem like love, but they are attachments. Do you know what toxic relationships are? They are usually that. Always take time to discover what you feel. As a guide, I give you a tip: love is always growth.
3.- A friend quotes Efraín Huerta: “They were all the love of my life.” Sometimes, that verse shocks me a little, but I think it is worth thinking about giving everything in a relationship without losing your identity but with all your heart.
4.- Sternberg said that there are three ingredients in a good relationship: communication, intimacy, and commitment. Worry when one of those three ingredients is missing.
About faith.
1.- Believing is powerful. Personally, it should be free. If you follow a religion, take advantage of that discipline. If not, do not dismiss that putting your heart into something can get you out of trouble. I do not always believe that there is life after death, but I like to talk to my mom from time to time.
2.- Make an altar. Maybe you have the Virgin of Guadalupe, or, like me, you have a niche with books and ornaments that mean something to you.
3.- Have sex with you or with someone else. Putting this in the spiritual chapter seems counterintuitive, but it’s not. It’s good for some chakras and for physical and mental health.
4.- Take time to listen to music and nothing else. I believe that music is the food of the soul and the language that words can’t understand. I started my birthday dancing like crazy to this 90s gem.
About life.
1.- Try to do new things. It doesn’t matter how old you are; if you want to try a new sport, a restaurant you see every day and haven’t been to, or a city you’re dying to see, cross these things off your list.
2.- Don’t worry if you’re x age and have yet to do everything you wanted to by then. Dreams change, life presents unexpected challenges, and… you’re alive! You still have at least today to do what you want.
3.- My mother used to say: “one redhead is worth a hundred faded ones.” In other words, learn to say no when you don’t want to or can’t do something. It may be awkward once, but it will save you from future sadness.
4.- Believe in yourself. You are your best friend, your best company. Don’t say mean things to yourself (I accuse myself of doing it often). Follow what fills you with madness and uncontrollable joy. I love to write. And that’s what I’m doing. This should have arrived on Wednesday, but it’s a late gift for you and me. I hope you like it.
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Is it your first time? I’ll leave you more letters here.
With virus-free love,
J. McNamara, aka Geeknifer.
You can contact me on Instagram, Telegram, Twitter and LinkedIn.
