How do you know you made the best choice in life’s most challenging moments? Today, I’ll tell you what drives us to reach resolutions and what to do when faced with the biggest crossroads.
Recently, I have heard about people who “break up” with old friends, boyfriends, partners, and even their family. In short, they have made a decision. And as some wise man told me, to decide is to give up.
At least, that is what it would seem at first, right? If I choose option B, I miss out on A. But what if, in reality, our decisions were not about “losing B” but winning C? I talk about that in more detail in the reflection.
On today’s menu, we also have a book that makes us wonder where decisions come from, a movie to laugh and scare us at other people’s decisions, and a story about the most pivotal choices.
A book 📕
What makes us prone to making one decision over another? How much do our upbringing, our experiences, and where we live affect us?
In part, this little and brilliant book by Michael Bible called The Ancient Hours talks about that. The Ancient Hours takes us to a town in the United States where everything changes after Iggy, a teenager with apparent depression problems, decides to sacrifice himself in the middle of a mass. Several people wonder: Why does a person make such a decision?
I like that the characters feel authentic. I think anyone can imagine a conservative town in the middle of nowhere in the United States and discover similarities with what is experienced in another part of the world.
I leave you the link to get it on Amazon.
A movie 🍿
Speaking of bad decisions, this movie, somewhere between thriller and comedy, is a compendium of terrible choices. The premise is that a group of young millionaires get together in an empty house and have to weather a storm. They came up with the idea of playing a game called “Bodies, bodies, bodies,” In which there is a killer and he has to touch the other players from behind.
You can imagine that the deaths start to become quite real. And all because of the terrible decisions of these “good kids.” The funny part is that you realize that each character lives in their own bubble and cannot learn how toxic they are.
The girl from the second part of Borat appears, as the girl from Shiva Baby, another one from the series The Acolyte… the cast is good, and the film is from A24, so it is almost guaranteed.
You can watch it on Amazon Prime using this link.
A short story🖋️
Alice kept dreaming of Wonderland. Once again, she was at the crossroads, the difference being that she didn’t have to choose a path but was instead under a post with a couple of signs. Behind her, a piece of wood pointed to the left: “The Palace of Hearts,” the second piece of wood, below it, pointed to the right: “The Mad Hatter’s House.”
When Alice realized where she was, she crossed her arms and looked ahead, seeing who would be next to choose a path. To her surprise, the Cheshire Cat came waddling along. However, the cat wasn’t smiling this time but strolling with his head down.
“What’s wrong, you giggle cat?”
“I’m sleepy. I can only think about sleeping, but the Mad Hatter invited me to one of his parties.”
“Oh! So you want to go right, do you?”
“No, not really.”
“So?”
“The Queen of Hearts also invited me to a banquet.”
“Oh! That’s why you’re going left.”
“No, not really.”
“Ah! Then it’s my turn to ask you difficult questions now!”, “Alice cried. –Where will you go, pretty cat? Left or right?”
The Cheshire Cat looked with his yellow eyes into Alice’s blue ones. And then he smiled. Like a graceful jaguar, he leaped over the girl without effort, landing on his two front paws and then putting his back down. He walked just enough to get away from the teenager.
Turning around, he was still grinning from ear to ear.
“Oh, Alice. Oh, girl. Me? I make my own paths.”
Some thoughts 💭
Everyone says that philosophy is useless until life gets serious. One of my favorite philosophers is the Danish Søren Kierkegaard because he usually sees the glass as half full.
He says something exciting about decisions:
If I had to wish for something, I would not wish for wealth or power but for the passion for the possible, that eye that everywhere, always young, always ardent, sees possibilities.
Paraphrasing Miss Maria Popova, who has a good newsletter of poetry and various things where she mentions Kierkegaard, she says there is no more punitive environment for thinking in binary things than our closest relationships. In other words, I am not just a daughter, wife, aunt, or sister. I am all of those and more.
That is why I believe that in those moments where people “end,” that ending is not necessarily a zero-sum. Relationships evolve and change; when you “lose something,” you must keep an eye on what you gain.
In other words, decisions are about giving up and seeing the world of possibilities that Kierkegaard talks about. When we decide to sow in existence, it is possible that even if there is winter, flowers will grow.
It’s your first time? I’ll leave you more letters here.
With virus-free love,
J. McNamara, aka Geeknifer.
You can contact me on Instagram, Telegram, Twitter and LinkedIn.
